I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
