So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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