Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
