He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
