where am i from again
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
