You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
