Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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