"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
