She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Less talking, more tequila
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
