tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
