I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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