My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
