its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
