i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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