She is in my trunk
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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