the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
