i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
