i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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