Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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