Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
