I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
