Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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