my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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