I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
