I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
