i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
