I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
