so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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