I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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