Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
