Soap is not a condiment
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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