didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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