i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
