I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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