My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
