Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
