We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
