Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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