Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
