actually, I'm a sock model
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I could fuck to npr.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
