took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
