You're completely useless in the revolution.
where am i from again
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
