Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
