i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
