it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
