you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
