I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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