we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize