O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
