Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
