OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
