His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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