Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
