worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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