By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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