remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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