ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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